Munch Park Party

Last night, our class Interpersonal Communication class MC27S4A made a self-made-group dinner. Well, basically we were just spending the surplus money that we gained from our class activities, events and projects throughout the semester.

A number of our classmates could not attend due to other commitments but we were having fun throughout the night. That is also our chance to actually to have a deep conversation about relationships, hearts and feeling; which is unavoidable since our course is mainly about extensive deep person-to-person communication.

Thank you for Atiqah Azlan for making the delicious spaghetti, Yuna for the Singaporean bihun and I-do-not-know-whom who made the delicious thick gravy chicken curry. This would be our last semester as a second year student before beginning our third; and our last year; as a student. For those who wants to see the rest of the pictures, you can click here. Such a great time and all the best to all of us for this final exam!

Exam Is Here

Picture above is from my Instagram which I took last semester but the concept is there. The exam week has arrived and I am currently working my ass off. First paper was Corporate Public Relation and it has been done upon to my level of satisfaction. It is the killer paper for us this semester as the lecturer is quite strict with her marks; not to mention it is a 4 hours credit paper. Yes, 4 hours credit.

The next paper will be Event & Publicity Public Relation and Media Law paper which is a back-to-back paper. With the emotional breakdown I’m currently going through right now, I’m trying my best to be strong for this final exam. Definitely hard but I will survive.

Seeing my classmates making their notes while myself still lingering around does make oneself feel scare towards the potential odds. Better work my notes now.

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Patiently Being Apart

Long distance relationship does have it own quirks. Holding each others hand, having your partner in your arms, kisses on the lips and looking into each others eyes, it is all impossible due to the gap created by space.

Space and time are the enemies of a long distance relationship because anything could happen before both of you meet again. Due to the distance, the bond would easily wilt down and it causes the relationship to be jeopardize. Thus, a lot of people would see this as a good attempt to separate both you either by seducing one of the partner without actually making them realizing that they are being drift apart further and farther or by discouraging the other partner about the relationship if they have a weak faith and trusts of the relationship.

Your partner would create a tantrum; pushing you away and try to shut you down. Do not give up and keep on fighting because for them, they want to see the effort being throw in so they would be convince that you are serious about them. Another thing might happen such as your partner could mess up the relationship and make you feel very angry and upset towards them. If it does happen, listen to their explanation as they always listen to you. Do not take your own action by leaving them dangling without explaining and telling about how do you feel and what do you want to do about it.

Call each other every night. Talk for hours. Text hundreds. Wish each other every morning. Do not make them wait. Answer when they initiate it. Because appreciation and trust within the relationship are the key to keep on lasting. Loving each other and being forever is the realitigasm and ultimatum of it. Being happy with each other and posses the feeling of could not live in this world without each other.

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Leaving 2013

Challenges can appear in many shapes and forms. Most people could endure the physical obstacles, have bruises all over their body and yet, they still survive. Some people could be torture intensively yet the firm believe that they possess would never change or to be alter. But when it is about emotional challenges, no one could survive entirely from being suck into its monstrous whirl. If you do survive, you will be barely able to breath as it suffocates by filling your lungs with all the problems you have. If you do survive, in a way it does not kill you. Instead, it will make you stronger.

Universally, everyone are afraid of loss. Afraid of loosing something which have a sentimental value to you is one thing. When we realize that we lost it, we would turn the earth upside down because during that moment, thoughts is running in our head. We try to ease ourselves by saying we might perhaps misplace it and at the same time all the sentimental memories are replaying in your mind.

How about if you loose a best friend, a true friend and a lover in one blow? Could your emotion could cope and bear with the cancerous pain that you have go throughout the year? Apology and reconciliation could make a difference but what if the other side refuse to accept the sincerity? And sometimes you have to accept things would not be the same as it was.

Thus, approaching new year, leave those bitter memories behind but bring hope and faith with you because possibilities of those persons returning into your life is still there. Only now, you have to use going through your life in the new chapter without them in the mean time. They will be back, they will return and when they do, they will stick and stay around forever.

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Isolation Of A Confounded Heart

Nobody's perfect, we screw up, we make mistakes, have heartbreaks, go through hard times but you need to know that this is life. Nothing comes easy, no relationship last years without terrible fights, there is no better partner who could understand you better without making a terrible mistake to you in the first place and there is no happiness without sacrifices.

It is easy to give up. It is easy to walk away. It is easy to face yourself to the corner.It is easy to tear someone’s heart. It is easy to disappear without any explanation. Everything seems easy to be done, dodging the problem, avoiding the reason and running away from the root cause.

There will be a period where you will be at your lowest point and you will push away all of those people who are meant a lot to you; your lover, best friends and others. You will be in your own world questioning everything that happen and resolve around you. Depression makes you isolated. It's very hard to think of other people when you're wrapped in a prickly blanket of sadness and all you can think about is your own pain.

The one whom will be affected the most is indeed your partner. When he tries to call, you refuse to answer. When he text, you refuse to reply. When he want to be closer, you push him away. He is doing all his best within all his might; ignoring his time, studies, friends even taking care of himself; as he is very worry about you. He keep on telling himself that perhaps it is all is his fault; a fault that you never mention, say or explain; letting him alone being eaten by his own mind. He never pointed out to you and say it is your fault; never; because to him, his wrong doing more terrible. Thus, he feels that he is not qualify enough to blame anyone, especially to the person he loves.

The only thing that he wishes is listening to your voice, grasp your hand, kiss it and pull you into his arms telling you everything is going to be fine, keeping on apologizing for a mistake that he not known of. He loves you very much and he could not more endure so much pain of being pushed away by the girl that he loves. Ignoring it all, he is closer than you think but keeping his distance afraid of you might running away to a place that he is not aware.

As you are keeping on searching and knowing about yourself, he is patiently waiting at the other end, keeping on fighting all the possibilities that he might loose you and keeping on holding to himself that both will be finally reunited together, forever.

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Wiping The Tears

Tears is different from a cry. You can cry without tears but you could burst to tears without crying. This is due to mix feelings that implore within us that could not make it justify as sadness, happiness or bitter some; the emotion plays the role.

When there is no words to describe it, only tears could express what we feel inside; either in front of public or alone in the room; and it is best comes with a hug from the person whom we are care about.

Feelings of being betrayed, sensation of joyfulness or being angry to someone all can be express by this one simple expression but hard to show it out since people perceive tears as a weak epitome but for those who understand, it is a sign of strength and the willingness to show what you feel deep down inside.

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Boxing Day

When you receive my heart, promise me to take care it well. Uplift it with care as it is more fragile than a flake of snow. Unwrap it with care as you might scratch the surface. Do place it up high in your heart so it won’t be reach by anyone who want to penetrate into your heart and destroys mine.

When you own my heart, bring it always with you no matter the place, time and situation. Please do be reminded that I am yours and it is your responsibility to keep it shiny, clean and beautiful during your possession. Never let it go; no matter what would happen; never let it go.

When you returning my heart, make sure that it is in a good shape just like what I gave it to you before; no stains, no crack and no scratch. If you are returning it in pieces, do collect all those pieces including the fine ones, put in a box and return it to me. No matter what happen, for me, this heart..this empty lonely heart always belongs to you.