Sweet and Bitter

Looking throughout the calendar made you realize that you will be leaving the year of 2011 less than 48 hours and from here, your mind would play all those flashbacks, memories and moments that you experienced; thus made a conclusion of what type of year that you’re went through.

Sweet memories are the easiest to be forgotten as we take it for granted because we believe that the precious moments will continue; obtained a good result in academic, have a fantastic social life and a great lover; which in the end, made you forgot that the dark, bitter memories are just waiting on the other side.

Memories gradually dimmed as the only memory that we can recall, which literally lived in our mind are the memories which made you cried, suffocate, could not made you think and having a terrible nervous breakdown covering the smile earlier on.

Here, you would know the year of 2011 is your good year or a year which makes you quite scare to face 2012. If it does, lock it in a Pandora’s box, walk along the smoldering pathway, walk towards the front and don’t ever look back.

As for myself, I want wish you guys a goodbye for 2011 and welcoming the year of 2012 and I hope I could do better; not just for me but to you guys; my faithful friends and readers

Happy New Year.

I Miss You, My Dear Ex

Seems that it has been months since we broke up but it’s still fresh in my mind. No, I’m not remembering the moment when you broke up with me but I reminiscing the beautiful memories that we once had, that we once shared.

My favourite part? It’s when we just kiss and hug each other in an empty room, waiting for you early in the morning just to touch your lips and saying the “3 words, 8 letters” to you.

Now, I missed being kiss and the care about someone whom I cared a lot more than myself; spending a lot for the phone just to make sure that you’re fine each day; sacrificed my time listening to you, about us, about insecure you are when I’m not there, about me having another “you”; but I assured you that you are my only, my words, my dedication, my commitments, my attention and my love; is only for you and you.

As I keeping my promises, you walk away; leaving me shedding with tears, as my heart tore apart and shattered to fine pieces in which it is impossible to be put together again.

As I keeping myself together, you enjoy your single life whilst keeping on saying that there’s no more love towards me which caused thousand of shards went straight deep into my bleeding heart.

As I beg, cried, asked and pled, you don’t even look back and say something to make me stand. Instead, you told me to forget about you, wash away all of our memories and get a new you.

As it is may seems easy for you to say those words and it is hard for me to do; I keep on waiting, keep on holding on and safe an empty space in my heart just for you; in case you would run coming back to me with those kisses and hug again.

My White Christmas Present

Dear Santa,

I’m sorry that you received the letter at the bottom of the chimney. I have been behaving really good this year as my wish this year is rather demanding. Could bring the one whom I love as my gift; not less, not more?

It has been almost a year when my love walk away and feeling towards me started to fade; thus, decided to left me in the aisle of snow.

There won’t be eggnogs by the cozy fire. There won’t be glasses of mold wine either. There won’t be a Christmas tree because my dear are not here to light it up with me.

Santa, won’t you bring my baby back to me cause I miss my love so dearly. I haven’t send my dear a Christmas card cause we are not really apart and seeing the Christmas stocking is as empty as my heart.

My love and I do speak to each other but not our heart. It’s hard delivering all those feelings, emotions and passion into one single text every time. I need my dear to be in front of me; going back to the time before my love left me.

Dear Santa’s Siri,

Please do remind him to drop over to my room and bring my love to me. Tell Santa that one of my wish is to turn the time a year ago so I could cherish the last moment with my love and when my dear leave me at that moment; there will be no regret.

As you can understand how I feel, Siri, do say to my love that I miss him and tell my dear what has change since we are apart because if my love’s answer is “None,” so my dear love still into me because things change since we broke up.

Only you that can feel every words that I utter every time I miss my dear love and you won’t let me cry because you will keep on reminding me to do not stop to love as it will kill me if I do.

Lastly Siri, please do tell Santa if he couldn’t send my dearly as my present; do put you instead beside my table bed so I have someone to talk to about my dearly love.

As my day would start by saying, “Dear Siri, how’s my love today?”.

Need of A Second Heartbeat

It was a chill morning as I walk to the park and look down upon the brown pavement as my mind was clenching to my memory’s Pandora. Remember? We used to be here every weekend; spending a day just to ourselves, holding each other’s hand and talk about what both of us had been gone through.

We would walk slowly as we don’t want to miss every second that has passed by. The bench which we would usually sit always there; waiting for us as I would lean to your side, holding your arms and we would just sat there; no words, no sound. Just you and I, sitting there in silence.

But it remain as memories for you have left me without telling what I did wrong for paying the price of loosing you.

I grabbed,hold on and told you that I won’t let you go as you meant everything to me; for I cried and the heat of my tears touches your skin. Never, as I far as I can remember that I did something which could hurt you in a way that you made you left me.

“That feeling, those passion, the love towards you; I feel no more. You’re such a good person; you are; but I can’t force myself to love you when I don’t anymore as it would be cruel for me to do so. I hope that one day, you will be with a person who love you more than I did and you deserve a person more than I am” for those words stroke my bleeding heart, tearing up a hole deep to my soul.

Months has passed since my heartbeat stopped as I swipe the dead leaves on the ground with my left foot, thus leaving a trace. That very trace that I keep clear in my heart as I don’t want it being cover by the healing that I’m currently going through; hoping that you will come back and clean the bleeding wound as I will definitely want my heart to beat again.

That second heartbeat; you.

Much Into You

I like ‘clingy’ people. I love it when people are affectionate with me. I like when they always invite me places, text or call me. I wouldn’t mind if they blew up my facebook wall with hearts and what not. I would rather have that person than someone who makes me text them first all the time and replies back like 20 minutes later.

- Cheska

Pieces of Shimmering Light

You’ve been thrown, you’ve been pushed, you’ve been left, you’ve been dump, you’ve been crushed, you’ve been smashed, you’ve been torn, you’ve been beaten, you’ve been heartbroken, you’ve been used; thus making you less than what you were during your perfect moment, that now, has been turn into smithereens.

No trace of memories; even a bit of a cherish moment; all, has been disappeared.

Therefore, it is hard for you to accept someone who would want to undo all those pain; because you afraid that they will do much more worse damages, that they will do the same thing as the previous and that they will just come by for a while and left without a word.

But do know, be realize that each new person who want to know us deserve at least chance to be with us because everyone around us has the right to have one.

When they give you their chance, don’t push it away. Instead, accept it and keep it safe. If you see that it would not work, give it back to them as they can go to other and seeking the space of chance. If they give you for the second time, then it is your right to put in into a decision. Because first time is an obligation, the second time is an option.

As you who are already giving your chance to that person, don’t go flirting around because you have no more chance as an offer to others; as yours has been kept by the person whom you choose earlier.

In the end, those lights may not shine your space but at least those piece of chance shines your heart.

Dear Cheesecake

As we open our eyes, we saw each other laying side by side in a yellow field. You smile while grabbing my left finger and you insert a ring made by a rye straw. Our eyes met and in the deep stare, it portrays, “Let me, hold me, trust me, keep me, love me”.

I take your right hand, held it close to my chest. Do you feel it; every single beat of my heart? In which a reply to the beautiful stare, “Be with me, don’t let go, don’t let it shatter to pieces, keep it safe; as I love you too”.

I hope you’re stepping into my life for only one reason; to fulfill the dream that your heart attempt to do in the previous relationship and getting me who feels the same as you are; wondering in the world that we created by ourselves, getting to understand and telling each other to live our expectation.

Perhaps it may not last, perhaps a splinter will hurt us badly and perhaps, in a sudden, we will lost.

But take my words; as it cost every single of my breath to do so; I will let ‘us’ to happen, I am prepare for myself to be hurt, protect you from any harm; in the exchange of your and our happiness.

Every word I said is true; this, I promise you.