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Crying

There would be a point in someone’s life that they could not bear all the things that being jumbled inside their chest.

They want to express it by words but sadly, there is no word which could describe and helping them to show what they want to convey. Only one option and it is the most effective way to do; cry.

Bursting our tears could help to ease all the burden, frustration, sadness or emotional burden that causing you into a fragile state. Ego aside, crying is the first thing that every human in this world did, so don’t be ashamed to do so.

Each of yours tears is priceless, so don’t let it fall down to the ground; collect it into a bile and by using the Pensive, you’ll know what is the real cause and try with all your might to fix it.

If it doesn’t, don’t be afraid to cry again.

Raya Syawal: Sixth Day

I was led myself to a minor incident.

When I was waiting for my brother downhill, somehow there’s the tendency in me to play with the motorbike.

SO I PRESSED IT AND IT

LED TO……

I bump the motorbike to the white in colour wood and to know the impact effect, just observe the yellow in colour plastic bottle.

What it did to the bike?

 

THIS! 

 

Still haven’t get the real picture?

Let me gave you a picture from different angle.

Get what I mean?

And I end up finishing giving my brother RM70 of my duit raya to him to fix that things.

Yes, although he maintain his cool but inside he does went berserk.

And do what does it cost me?

THIS! 

 

Small cut and bruises to my legs than the cost of RM70.

It’s like what a Malay quotation alway said,

 

“PADAN MUKA!”

All things are going back to normal again….I think

Last week is the most troublesome week I’ve ever had. Not just have all the people around me almost-pull-the-trigger to hate me but I do jeopardize them in such a way that it made me feel really unmotivated throughout the week until I have to cancelled the debate training on Thursday without Swinburne’s authorization *sorry Swin*. But the past is the past and all I have to do right now is look at it and try to do not do the same thing again. It’s precious I could say.

Sorry I have to break my promise to update the blog at least once in every two days due to some internal problems (which I think you already know). But from now on I’ll try my best to update all of the three blogs which are under my management. I hope Fuad and Maisarah do help me by updating TEC site as well. It has been a hell load of work from me. Externally and internally exhausted, I shall continue with my plan.

Hey, it’s already March! I keep on forgetting that I’m in a new month hence more efficient work to do. The reason that makes me kept on being busy is where the time synchronization is just “right”. Meaning by all of the stuff that I’ve been doing is almost overlapping. Thank God there are people whom I can count on during those moments. In the next post, maybe I’ll do what Faradiba and her friend did; stating and listing what they do, what they did throughout the whole week and month. From there you will know how busy I am, no matter what kind of stuff that I occupied with.

Personally, I think it is what I so called “the debater curse”. Did you realize; you guys who are debaters no matter what universities or campuses; your life totally change after you joined TDC? Maybe before this you are nobody or merely a number of people know you and having such a free-time-moments after you finish your class. But after you become a debater, suddenly the whole burden of assignments, research, presentation, life obstacles, matter-which-are-not-concern-to-you and what-are-the-things-that-made-me-busy-all-suddenly-which-I-do-
not-know-what-I-am-busy-about are on your shoulders? Hence, I advised to all debaters out there if you want to attract people to join TDC, please DO-NOT-IN-WHAT-EVER-THINGS-OR-LIFE-THREATENING-SITUATION you mention about this curse or they will back off. I mean the burden will not come in a pile in a jiffy but it will slowly come to you and by the accordance of time, it will pile up more than come-in-a-pile-in-a-jiffy. So debaters; between you and me; shut the things up.

For this week, for the first time ever I just stayed at home for one day. Mind you that my course in UiTM were having their “Family Day” which apparently I didn’t go due to the fact that I’m a busy person; no time to enjoy myself; and also I need to take care of the house especially my brothers (seven of them) and my little sister because my parents are having their business to attend which make them have to leave the house for 2 days. Since I’m the ONLY elder brother which my parents can count on, therefore I leave all the stuff behind and went back home. But suddenly, on my first day Zureen called me stating that she wanted to see me. By leaving my duty to my father whom came home that time and my usu, I went back to UiTM seeking for Yaya and Zureen.

That Saturday night, apparently there is an occasion of “Battle of The Band” in conjunction with “Malam Gala Gading”. That night, I went there with B.J and his friends but unexpectedly I sat together with Jesse, Asma and Kaka. After I accompanied the girls back to their dorm block, I went back to Youth Floor and waited for Yaya before she called me to meet at the road between the canteen and Dewan Jubli. From there; exception to Zureen’s kept-on-interupting; Yaya and me talk and we already resolved the matter. Almost of the girls in the world, I wouldn’t sacrifice, burden and jeopardize my friendship with Yaya, Zureen nor Hana. They are my trustful and true female friends ever. They are meant a lot to me then I meant to them.

So I’ve heard the rumour that for the next “Family Day” that my classmates want to select me as the Project Manager due to the fact that they are quite pissed that I actually didn’t come for the Family Day since 3 semesters ago. Yes people, starting in Part 1 until Part 3 (now), I didn’t bother go even once. So by that, they want to increase my burden. First thing first, it is not that I don’t want to handle the project but people; I’M A BUSY BOY. Due to this fact, you actually want my commitment towards this stuff which apparently most of you know that I might do not get 100% commitment towards these things. People, come on and grow up. Please do not put the project at stake because it involves big budgets and a huge number of people. It involves the whole Ladang course for goodness sake. Either you listen to me or not, do not blame the outcome.

Hence, I’m looking forward to the things that might happen this week and like I said to myself when I’m in a tight, tense, out-of-time and stress moments, “I’ll manage”.

It's too late to apologize...it's too late

Stifler quoted "Shit happens".

And I felt what he said is totally right. I'm trying to do my best in my new field of expertise and where does it get me? Jeopardizing people whom I care, whom I love and whom I adore. Frankly speaking, I didn’t know what I’m doing right now do makes every people having a hair-trigger moment in this tight-tense-controversial situation.

I’m sorry for what I make, what do I have begun, what do I already build-up makes people feel the annoyance, the sickness and the sadness out of them. I never meant to do it. It is just certain people can’t understand what I’m saying, for what I meant. I never meant to make people fight and argue towards each other just for what I wrote. Now I know the meaning of “the pen is much sharper than the sword”.

I do love TDC so much. It’s like I’m turning to Iqhbal Hafis (well, 25% to be exact) due to the passion, experience and the skills that I’ve gained when I entered this club. So people please do not question about my feelings towards the club itself. I do love it so much more than my own course’s club. Heck, even my course mates always questioning me the reason that I always make out the priority out of TDC more than theirs.

It’s due to the factor that since I entered this club, I met lots of people whom widen my mind and my perspective. Even from the club itself, I learnt something which no one could have by do not entering the club. It’s what I call “Discover The New You”. The first club that I actually join with my will is The Language Society. From there, I met Paul. A nice-friendly-polite-gentleman-supportive-helpful-and-sorts-of-quality-
person-whom-you-can-found he is. From there, he guides me to know the lecturers, the people whom in charge and such. And from there, I pursued my steps in TDC by having my first debate after being forced by Jack. From there, I learnt skills and stuff which I dare to say never being achieved by any people in the campus. It’s like having the whole UiTM at the tip of my fingers. But yet, I never misuse the skills that I’ve learnt for self benefit. Instead, I helped people when they have any type of trouble which I can overcome. That is why right now most of the students know me. For the record, they call me “Black” because people kept calling me “Black” without knowing my real name. I’m not blaming them, maybe due to the fact that I’m too good to be somebody whom the call “Pure”.

Thus, I end my post by saying, “To all the people whom are affected, will-be-affected and indirectly affected by my posts, I, Muhammad Rahman, having my hat low down, stating that I’m totally sorry for what I have done/cause and will done/cause in this present and in the future. I didn’t mean to and I hope that all of you would forgive me”.

P/S: As for the TEC site, I already make it only accessible to people whom I already authorized. And to Dr. Simon, Miss L and Swinburne; thank you because respecting my freedom of speech. Your good deed will be in my mind forever.