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Crying

There would be a point in someone’s life that they could not bear all the things that being jumbled inside their chest.

They want to express it by words but sadly, there is no word which could describe and helping them to show what they want to convey. Only one option and it is the most effective way to do; cry.

Bursting our tears could help to ease all the burden, frustration, sadness or emotional burden that causing you into a fragile state. Ego aside, crying is the first thing that every human in this world did, so don’t be ashamed to do so.

Each of yours tears is priceless, so don’t let it fall down to the ground; collect it into a bile and by using the Pensive, you’ll know what is the real cause and try with all your might to fix it.

If it doesn’t, don’t be afraid to cry again.

Dating Your Friend’s Ex-Girlfriend

It is an unwritten the brotherhood code that you do not date each other’s ex-girlfriend because it is ethically wrong and betraying the mutual trust that both of you have developed during your friendship.

The situation would be much more worst if he is your good or best friend and he use the excuses of, “There are no more between both of you and it is not your right to tell her whom she could date or not”.

The idea of you, as that trusted friend, dating the same girl you know he shared strong emotional experiences with, seems very much like betrayal.

It is a hard pill to swallow from a friend, but a harder pill from a close friend.

It is quite the opposite if it is the guy who actually left the girl. Hence, it seems to be alright if you want to slither in and trying to engage with the girl of opening up a new chapter.

Here is a question for you. Let say that your friend and you are considered as influential and the girl left your friend because he is not that influential anymore; perhaps he move to another atmosphere; and she is running to you to seek help. From there you hook up. So what is the guarantee that she would not do the same thing if you loose your influence.

It is much complicated that you can ever think of. Thus, do respect the code and remember, there is a fine line between “I care about what I feel concerning my friend” and “Fuck it! I’m chasing his ex”.

10 Facial expression

HAPPY

 

A happy face does really will be brightened someone else’s day because it reflects a positive energy from the individual to other people. Therefore, a happy face creates a great momentum in every day’s life.

In this happy picture of me, it conjured up because I bought a pair of earphone that enables me to listen to my favourite songs. The quality of the sound that the earphone produces makes the song; U2 – It’s A Beautiful Day; gives me the vibe to make my day feel great. Thus, it rushes the adrenaline to spark my mind of having a photographic vision on how I will spend and having a productive day ahead.

Plus, people would not be hesitating to approach you since I reflect a great and positive vibe thanks to my happy facial expression.

Finally, in the end we had a great time laughing and being happy about it.

 SAD

I’m having a sad face because I just knew that one of my friends is talking bad about me behind my back and I felt hurt about it.

It is bad behavior of talking bad about people behind their back. It shows that the person who did it does not have the courage to be frank with that person. If there’s something wrong or you think that person has done something stupid, tell them straight to their face.

Plus, since I’m having a sad face, potentially it would ruin my day because my mind would be distracted of doing certain task and it could affect me in a way that I would not have a productive day.

Therefore, this incident would remind me to think before I utter any word that would hurt anyone’s feeling.

SURPRISE

I feel surprise because my parents gave me the phone that I have been craving for a long time; a Nokia 5800 XpressMusic; as my birthday present.

It really made my day because for me it is a huge big surprise because my parents never give anything for me during my birthday. I would take care of the phone really well since it has a sentimental value to me.

Sometimes surprises are in a form which will makes your bond towards the person who make it happen really much tighter and firmer than before in a sense of gratitude towards that person.

Surprise is good but sometimes you need to beware that there are certain people that are limited to a surprise. A good example is a person who is having a heart disease.

DISGUST

I’m having this disgusting facial expression because I just saw a person who sneeze and wipe his mucus on a dining table cloth.

I mean does this person have a sanitary issue or he has not been told to use a tissue instead.

His action actually spreading much more germs and it could be infecting to anyone who are near to that table since the mucus would evaporate and travel via air.

Furthermore, his action would reflect his characteristics since people would judge him from his action which awfully disgusting.

FEAR

This facial expression of fear or horror happens because I watch scary movie from my laptop. The title of the movie is Ju-On.

Everybody has their fear on something or towards someone. My fear is actually towards ghost. Yes, although people said that ghost does not exist but by watching many movies about ghost giving me the perception that ghost exist.

That is why I never walk alone in dark without my portable music player or any person who would walk along with me.

Hence, the fear could create a strong imprint even both for children and adult.

CONCENTRATING

I’m having a concentrating facial expression because I’m trying to remember something at the back of my head.

I also have this facial expression whenever I need to recall certain facts or points whenever my lecturer is asking my question.

It is hard to concentrate especially if there is disturbance such as noise that could make me very hard to give a full concentration of what need to be recall or paying attention towards the lecturer who are teaching in front of the class.

Some people would have different ways to concentrate if they try to recall something for example looking up, looking or looking at the side as it is the physiological response that our body.

Overall, concentrating is important especially to students because they can gather the input from the lecturer as optimum as they can.

 BLUR

Blur facial expression being reflect because my friend suddenly said something that out of the topic.

Plus, in the academic area, it is dangerous if I am blur because it shows that I don’t understand the message that are being delivered due to noise or anything that distracting my mind during the lecture.

Sometimes being blur is good because I will ask question whenever I do not understand certain topic.

When I am blur, I will try my best to do not make an assumption of any information that I’m quite confuse about because it is misleading to me and perhaps to other people when they ask the information from me.

ANGRY

I feel angry in this picture because my little brother spoilt my laptop. It is hard to do not being mad at him because after all it is an honest mistake.

But imagine the entire documents, assignment and presentation file that being kept in the computer cannot be access because the damage that has been done by my brother.

It took me a lot of days and effort to have my assignment and assessment being done; luckily this assignment is safe because I make a copy in my pendrive.

Certainly, I learn my lesson that I would make a back-up file if anything happen to my laptop.

 SMILE

I’m smiling because I remember the sweet memory that I had with my friends back at those times.

Smiling is another facial expression that could gives out positive vibes to other people other than happy. In fact, smiling and being happy has its own co-relation because when you are happy, you are automatically will smile.

It is easier to approach people who smile rather than put a long face because by smiling it reflects that the person is friendly and approachable.

In other words, smile is the mother of all magic.

WINCE

I wince because my ankle tripped on a piece of lego. It hurts real badly because it’s a sudden and flash pain which I have to endure.

Physical pain sometimes is much less hurtful that inner pain which unbearable to any person exist.

The best teacher around is experience and the best experience is pain because you will be hurt and may go down. But according to time, you’ll be able to walk again and if the pain reappears again, you know on how to deal with it.

There is many types of pain and each of them have different level on how hurtful it is but in the end, people get their lesson.

An Open Letter to HP Service Centre Headquater

 

I have sent my laptop model CQ20-317TU since last Wednesday, 17th February 2010, to be look at since I suspected my power adapter has giving me such a nuisance.

The front desk girl told me that the engineers will look upon my problem and will call me at the end of the day but yet when I call Kuching HP Service Centre the very next day(Thursday, 18th February 2010) , she said there is no available engineer to look upon my laptop. Thus she said they will call me the next day.

Again on Friday, 19th February 2010, I call them again and they said there is no available engineer to look at my problem (AGAIN) and she pointed out that the whole engineers has taken their holiday in the conjunction with Chinese New Year celebration that has been celebrated last Sunday (14th February 2010) and Monday (including Tuesday which is the replacement holiday, 15 & 16th February)

It is hard for me to taken the fact that there is no available technician nor engineer to sort out my problem which is actually derived from the faulty power adapter which you can sort out in a few minutes by replacing it with another one since mine is still under warranty.

As a student, my dependency on my laptop is high and without it, i will not have the ability to do my work smoothly.

After waited for a week now, I called Kuching HP Service Centre asking the condition about my laptop and the answer that has been given really made me feel angry and mad towards HP itself.

She said that the sparepart which is the motherboard is out of stock and it would be estimated time of arrival is on the 24TH MARCH 2010!!!!!!!

It is purely insane answer for me to accept since your company has tresspassing your service policy of 5 to 10 days working and with this occuring, it has cause me more than a month!!!!

Did you know that my study life, my achievement and my final examination result depend on that notebook since I need to use it especially when I have a crucial subjects this semester!!!! And did you know how it will effect my productivity terribly!?

Did you ever think of that!!!?

I ought your company to do something on this because you are jeopardizing my future here since all my data, all my notes are in that notebook.

You can call the Kuching Service Centre for futher explaination by their number which you guys I believe that you have it, 082-349808.

Please ask them to check my record under my name Muhamad Rahman Sallehin and using my phone number as their reference which is 014-5907431.

Dear HP Customer Care Team, my future of success is in your hand right now and you ought to do something about it ASAP!

Every bit of memory

I’m sorry to you guys for ain’t updating this blog in a while. Blame the exam and the paperwork that I need to do throughout the entire week.

Right now, there’s lot of things which are currently being playing in my mind. Either you like it or not, I’ll try to express every issue that I want to say right now and trust me, it can be quite personal.

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All this while those three girls and I were the most closest people in the group that I called “The Elite Club”. We usually have our lunch together with the groups and even when we finished with our class, we would have our tea time together or if it is already late due to night class or even a debate training, we would conjured together for dinner at the canteen.

But it lasted until two semesters only.

It all change when one of them started to have a relationship. Quietly and slowly, she become more further away from us. I still remember her quote saying that '”..I appreciate my friends more than boyfriend (if I have one)..”. Although she’s still hanging out with us but it only happen in a few occasion. Three times in two weeks if I my calculation is right. So it only left two of them together with me.

Due to a certain academic issue, one of them have to back off from the tertiary education. I was like seems lost for a while since she is the most closest girl with me. It like you lost a twin. So there is just one left.

And recently, I officially lost her due to the fact that she also start to have a boyfriend plus the previous girl whom return to the tertiary education also got herself a boyfriend which makes me……seems gone.

I dated so many girls in the campus but yet, I can’t recall on ANY occasion that I actually left them out. When I think of it all over again, I NEVER DO IT!!! EVEN ONCE!!! So much of the words that they uttered few semesters ago.

People do and does change. Yes, I do realise that but if the change gave a negative effect to me, I wouldn’t accept it. I’m a man of my word and I kept others promise; every single word that came out from their mouth; I do took it seriously. But since all three of them eventually falls to their own world already, perhaps I’ll just be an observer. See the situation and their life from afar and if anything bad happening to them, I’ll be there.

Yes, you and they could say that I already have so much of girls around my life. It’s true, indeed. But the feeling being around them isn’t the same as being around with you guys. Did you ever realized that?

I don’t blame the first girl-friend because she tends to go home after having the class. Where as for the second girl-friend, she already got a new circle with her; BAD ONES whom always influenced her to do something stupid; even she try to deny the fact but it is obvious. As for the third-girlfriend, she’s right now along with her boyfriend, as I see is leading towards to the “social outcast” status.

Why do I said that? Both of them try to control each other by not letting any guy or girl approach each other. I mean, even the boyfriend told off one of their male friend who actually helping those two to become a couple.

Love tends to make people blind and it is now applicable to the second and third girl-friends.

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For The Elite Club circle, let us see our journey down the memory lane throughout the semesters before you guys hit to pursue your degree.

Warning: It may bring back some issue

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On a separate issue, my parents would not allow me to go to represent UiTM Sarawak in debate after the exam. They said it is not an academic issue for me thus is not important.

I said to them, “Well, do you expect me to sit at the house and babysit for this whole one month!? What do I gain? Nothing!!!”.

And my mum came up with what she thinks a solution. “Okay, I give you green light to go but don’t expect us to give you pocket money to go there…”.

And I was like……”What!?”.

I mean, there’s nothing is what I could a sense of pride in their voice of having a son represent his university in a tournament.

Why?

Because they think that having me as the only English speaker in the house tends to make me like an “Englishman-wannabe” and try to be in the category of trying to be an “up” person.

In their eyes, speaking English is just to pass the exam and other than that is just for showing off that you actually can speak English.

Luckily I already brainwash my siblings to accept English as a way of the communication in the house.

Yet, about the “no-pocket-money-if-I-go-debating-in-West-Malaysia” is still an issue from me. *Sigh*

Drained out tapi banyak lagi obstacle kat hadapan

Minggu ni minggu exam. Semua student tengah struggle sekarang nih.

Well, thanks to the cuti of H1N1 and cuti seminggu raya tempoh hari, maka satu UiTM Malaysia tak ada study week.

I mean, apa salahnya pihak pentadbiran UiTM memendekkan cuti semester seminggu kurang untuk menampung study week. Memang pelik ah korang.

Selama 3 semester yang lepas aku dah experience study week, semester nih macam sial pulak. Dah lah aku nak target dekan sem ni, datang pulak menda lain.

Dahlah banyak assignment kena hantar, report kena tulis dalam masa satu hari ni nanti. Paling sedap paper Cost Accounting will be my first paper on Wednesday. Waktu pagi lagi!!!!

Nih baru jer course plantation, bukan lagi campur course-course yang susah gila babi tahap gaban. Silap haribulan, mungkin semester nih banyak orang yang akan repeat paper. Tapi aku akan pastikan I’ll be not into that group. Cukuplah dengan paper Physics ngan Ekonomi yang aku terpaksa bayar dengan peluh darah.

Pukul 2 petang ni pulak aku ada presentation tentang Major Crop. Satu benda belum siap tau! Jangan korang nak cakap kat aku tentang time management sebab aku memang manage time aku dengan sebaiknya. Cuma benda di luar kawalan dan segala hal-hal yang menyebabkan aku sibuk dan lari dari jadual perjalanan asal yang membuatkan aku rasa tension sekarang ni.

Dah lah, buang masa aku nak mengomel dan complaint banyak-banyak. Bukan ada benda aku dapat pun.

Aku perlu siapkan presentation nih sekarang!!!!!

They are what is you

Friends are important. There are friends to hang-out, for group studying even there is friends for watching football together.

But the thing that I want to highlight here is the people whom you are mingle with.

Without you realizing it, the will reflect on what you will become. Either it will affect your attitude, characteristic or even your future path.

Thank God, through the entire journey of my life I’ve been stumbled upon people who really made me what I am today.

I was just an ordinary boy, thinking immaturely and always gave childish act or answer. You will feel astonish on how this bunch of people taught me the meaning of life; from my taste of music, food, place, ideology etc.

Unfortunately, not all of us as lucky as I am. Loads of them ended up with a bunch of bastards who only know the meaning of”LET’S ENJOY AND HAVE FUN 24/7” without thinking the consequences and the effect to their friends.

They taught you something which is really bad indeed without teaching you the good substance to make it balance; at least mine did.

It is really sad indeed seeing somebody that you really care so much change and it keep on changing themselves in the name of “Because they’re my friends.”.

Perhaps these bunch of people just sees you as a ticket to a goldmine or even a back stage package. Let see if you have those thing at the first place; would they actually want to approach you at the beginning?

Yet, lot of people when they meet up with new friends they tend to leave the old ones even without realizing them doing it. Giving an excuses such as “I need to care about my new friends feeling too…” isn’t acceptable especially when the old friends knew you way more longer than the new “ones”.

Hence, sometimes we must be aware of these matter because by choosing your social circle, it is either you end up JUST LIKE THEM or realizing it before it’s too late.

The Result of The Result

What can I say? I didn’t perform well in the exam and cause me a lot of hell towards my pointer.
My GPA drop like hell and my CGPA is only barely enough for me to graduate from my course.

Looks like I have to struggle next semester. Well, not entirely. All I need to do is manage my time well and also study smart.

Loads of my friends are able to sustain their pointer above 3 and some of them are able to make it to the Dean List.

I’m so frustrated to myself and I vow to myself that I won’t involve in non-academic activities and reduce my involvement in debates because from my observation that is the main cause of my insignificant asides my inability to focus well on certain subject.

Besides, for next semester I already full utilized my 29 hours of my credit hours and I think that I will have a very tiring semester ahead.

All I need right now is your prayer and wishes upon my future success.

Bleeding....

When I'm on my way out from the library
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.
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I saw her with another guy
.
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I purposely walked by in front of her
and stares her straight to the eyes...
.
.
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She closed her faced with her hands when she noticed me walked by....
.
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And my heart starts to pumping faster...
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....Pumping hard....
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Hard enough until it reached its limit of turgidity....
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Until it starts to bleed....
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My tears want to burst out...
but I try to hold it...
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.
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but when I reached my class and took my seat at the most back...
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I can't hold the damp anymore....
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I cried
.....*tears*......

Finally…I arrived!!!!

Now, let s went back to the situation where Swinburne and me were stuck at LCCT.

Since both of us ran out of money, clothes and food; basically we are totally at our deepest moment ever. So there we are, starving and thirsty thinking our way to overcome the situation.

Swin called Miss L to inform her about our current situation. Apparently, her sister was on the flight that we suppose to broad. But by the time her sister knew about it, it was already too late. If not, taking her quote from Miss L, “I would take them at my next flight”.

As for Mr. Constitution, he actually done nothing to help us during the most devastative moment ever faced by both of us. Yes, I do realize if he was there with us he could do something but HE WASN’T THERE.

Mdm. Constitution was actually really worried about both of us. I mean both of us stuck in a foreign land with no money or clothes. She felt terrible for the situation that both of us were facing then.

Hence, since both of us are basically stuck at LCCT, we must figure out an idea on how to return to UiTM Shah Alam. This is due to the phone call that Swin made after we missed our flight. He said that if we went back to UiTM Shah Alam, Hafiz would take care of us; mind you that he actually lost his pet two days before he moved to his new house.

My mother called me two hours after we missed the flight stating that she already banked in RM100 to Swin’s account. Without wasting any time, Swin withdraw the money and by using that money we manage our way to UiTM Shah Alam. We took the bus and taxi with the overall amount of RM49.

When we arrived, the Novice Cup tournament has already started. By the time we reached at the Engineering Faculty building, we are already in the peak of frustration for what so ever reason that put us in the situation at the first place.

Swin were at his the most down moment in his life during that time. Imagine this; when he went to the tournament room and everyone greeted him, he just stares at them and don’t reply those greets. He faced Hafiz and he told Swin to wait him at the building’s car place.

By them time Hafiz said that to him, Swin went berserk. His gone mad towards everyone; me, Miss L, Fuad, Mr. Constitution, Hafiz and such. But I understand his emotion during that time. I don’t blame him. Even Fuad also do understand; no doubt upon that.

When Hafiz sent us to Kolej Perindu, Swin and I straight away went to the room and make ourselves calm. I bought a brush and a wash soap to wash the dirty clothes. And since both of us ran out of clothes to wear, we went to Wisma PKNS to buy some new clothes.

Both of us waiting for bus to UiTM after doing some 'shopping'

During the night, the other debaters from other campuses are quite surprised to see us. We told them what happened and basically, they just said “You guys are quite good at wasting government's money”. *laugh*

The next day, we woke up quite late and headed our way. Mind you that our minds are quite clear compared to yesterday. Since both of us already miss a lot of stuff that we suppose to do when we return to Kuching BY THAT TIME, we do our study and research in the Novice Cup operation room. When the tournament has ended its semi-final, Hafiz told us to book flying tickets back to Kuching. Since there were no flight ticket on Sunday available, I picked the opt to booked the ticket going back on Monday exactly at 6.40 p.m. The reason I did that is because if I book the ticket early in the morning like the previous one, there is a chance that both of us would miss the flight again.

So on the day of the flight, both of us woke up early and packed our bags. To avoid the same mistake being done; we told Hafiz that our flight is at 5.00 p.m. He arrived and we said goodbye to Fuad who have the sincerity to be with us throughout the day we missed our flight till the day of our departure.

Thank you Fuad for your companion during those hard moments. I'll remember it till death

Taking a picture with Yellow Coverageman before I leave the UiTM ground

We checked in early but something happened. Taking Swin’s quote, “Either the airplane hates us or Shah Alam loves us so much”. Due to the technical problem faced by the plane that we already board in, we have to change to another plane. It took us at least one hour before the airplane started to fly.

When we arrived at Kuching, I almost burst to tears when I saw my mother and brother waiting for me at the arrival gate. Swin and I headed to our own way; he went home and I headed to UiTM.

*the end*

Basically, that the story of us being stranded in Shah Alam for five days and I have to agree with Swin that this is the worst moment that we ever had. We also could not blame ourselves if we are traumatic for another flight again. Have to be note that the Malaysian Open will be held in Malacca next week. NO!!!!!!!!!

P/S: Mr. Constitution is having a depressed moment with the Financial Unit right now concerning to the flight ticket that we supposed to board in. Hehehe..

Don't know what to do

So I'll spare the selection for the ASEAN debate in the next post.

Hence basically, Swinburne and me suppose to return to Kuching 7.40 p.m yesterday. But since the selection is extended to 8 p.m that night, so with the help of Azmilah, Paul and Mdm. Afidah, we're able to have a second flight at 11.40 a.m the very next day.

What I'm going to write is something is personally to me is the most bullshit deep shit fucking thing that ever happened in my life.

I was felt quite devastated yesterday since I'm just being alone throughout the day before the written test for the selection; yes, they do have written test for the selection. FUCK!!! WHY I TALKED ABOUT THE SELECTION!!!!

Today, the our flight were waiting for us but the FUCKING thing here is the transportation of UiTM to send us to the airport were having a BIG SHIT miscommunication. They waited for us at Kolej Jati where as we are waiting at Kolej Perindu!

It's already 10.00 a.m but the transportation hasn't arrive yet so we call Hafiz and he sent us to the airport.

Iqhbal Hafis sending us to the airport

By the time we arrived at the airport, the gate to the flight has closed. We're actually quee up at the wrong flight and that cost us a lots of time to know what we are already to late.

We called Hafis whom are busy with the Novis Cup and we told him what happened. He told us to go to UiTM Shah Alam from the LCCT but we don't have any money left!!!

Swinburne and me being stranded in LCCT

I called my parents and they try all their best right now (by the time I wrote this) to manage things up. My mother banked in RM100 to Swinburne's account since I don't have any ATM card.

Now, I'm here in LCCT being hungry, confused, angry, sad and all those stuff. I'll update what will happen next.

P/S: Now I think the lecturers do learn their lesson to do not let the students alone to do the travelling. And I'm right now is on the peak level of homesick!!!!! I miss my home...*cry*