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Heavy Breath

There will be that moment you have done everything. There will be that moment where you feel tired. There will be that moment that you feel you want to give up. There will be that moment where you feel just want to close your eyes.

So you lean to a wall, inhale your breath with all your might. You hold to it long enough until you feel your chest burns and with one blow, you exhale all the burden out from your mind..from your body.

You thought it clatters around but all of them are standing still in front of you; await the is right moment to slip inside you and keep to put on those weight to your chest. There is no easy way out. The only way to destroy it is to face and solve it; with the right way, a satisfaction could be achieve.

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Seconds of Waiting

I believe people do change; despite the strong impression, personality and the characters conveyed; they eventually will change at one point, at one moment in their life. Whether it is grievances, sadness or mirth; it cause an entire effects towards a person.

In a relationship, swarthy occurs that slices the heart into two pieces is a norm in commitment. Throughout the complexion, deeper conversation and communication helps by untangling roots which nibble the earth thoroughly. But sometimes, surmising can create a damage beyond repair and putting it much into context, it complicate itself much more.

Suddenly, the escape door open and without any second thought; carried by your odium; go through the drawers of your lover’s heart and mind, retrieving any possibilities of memories, thoughts and walk out never to be heard again.

When you decide to do so; remember that flaunt action will cost dearly. There by that door, your love will wait for you not matter how long it would take. They prefer to miss another opportunity over other person because they believe another chance will come by; and it is your blunder whom causing it on the first place.

The words and emotion

So it starts of unexpected.

You have mutual friends and add each other on facebook and msn. You get to know one another. It gets interesting.

Exciting. Fun. Numbers are added into phones. Text. Text. Text. Flirt. Flirt. Flirt.

You have deep and meaningful conversations and learn about them.

You begin to fall. You start dating. You fall harder. You are inlove. You hug. Kiss. Touch.

Life is great. You are in love. Can't go a day without talking to them.

Time flies. Things change. Things get rocky. You get hurt. Forgive, but can't forget. You love them to much to break up. They break up with you. You are shattered.

Life doesn't mean much no more.

You lost everything.

And it ends with heartache.

                                                                                - via Tumblr

Above words are the exact words of describing what I had, experienced and felt for the past six days.

For the one who’s I meant this for, thank you for everything. There will be no once who will love me like you do. Thank you once again.

Usai waktu

Okay, aku admit yang blog ni memang dah lama tak update dah. Well, thanks to kesibukan yang memanjang hatta aku dah habis final exam.

Banyak benda yang dulunya berlegar dalam kepala aku nih dah hilang satu persatu dan cuma tinggal yang satu ni jer.

Vice Chancellor Cup 2009 Debate Tournament.

Bagi sesaper yang tak tau, tournament ni merupakan satu pertandingan debate yang involve the whole campuses under UiTM and for your information, this tournament will be held in Malacca starting Tuesday next week if I’m not mistaken.

My flight will be on next Monday and aku belum beli apa-apa yang patut since I’ll be there about for a week.

Well, kita tinggalkan part debate tu dulu because kepala aku sekarang makin pening nak hafal semua arguments and facts (read: Malaysia Economy).

Aku dapat tahu from a reliable source indeed yang result for the examination akan keluar 10hb Disember nanti. Telahan ini dijangka akan menjadi satu igauan (ngeri) kepada towards the whole students when I talked to my ketua program about his matter.

Definitely aku dah tau yang aku tidak akan repeat apa-apa paper semester depan (alhamdulillah) dan aku cuma mahu tahu akan jadual next semester serta memastikan aku dapat sit for the Economy paper yang aku fail time part 3.

Yes, aku fail satu paper dan aku have to ulang balik my ko-kurikulum part 5 depon since the fucking what-so-call registration system telah menghilangkan kod tu time aku part 3. Aku tak dapat ambik in part 4 due to the fact kredit hour aku yang sebanyak 23 jam telah habis diguna dengan menambah paper Physic yang aku telah repeat sem ni.

Aku berharap keajaiban akan berlaku for the result since aku dah promise dengan Hana yang aku akan dapat DL semester ni untuk dia. Kalau tak, I’ll loose the bet to where which will require me to wear a pair of blue contact lense. *cross my finger*

Aite, until this part that I can type since I have to go to MPH to catch-up some mags and books especially yang ada kaitan dengan world nowadays.

P/S: Kemungkinan next sem aku terpaksa drive ke kampus.

Raya Syawal : Fifth Day

The top view from my house in the early morning of the 5th day of Raya.

After sort things out at my house; washing the dishes, do the laundry, swept the house etc. I prepare myself to get ready when Yaya’s text arrived nearly noon asking me to get ready. And owh! By the way, Celcom line were sucks on that day.

I waited for like FOUR freaking hours and I called Yaya for every half-an-hour to “check” things up. Abruptly, all the guys were at Yaya’s house and unable to make their journey since Dr. Wan Akil was talking to them.

They finally arrived using Redha’s Perodua Kelisa and since there were SEVEN of us, I have to sit on Alex’s lap.

First stop is to Madam Ratna’s house since she kept on texting Wan to visit her for Raya. Before us, there were some students in the house and they were karaoke.

After they left, Mdm. Ratna persuade us to sing; we w ere shy at first but Alex took the first move and selecting some songs. I just there with him just to tagged along. Mind you, I want to sing also.

Hence we sang loads of songs, having the impression that we were in a karaoke box. Need to note that her house does really have a very good sound system.

But although we put to the loudest volume and having our voice at the top box, Redha still have his sleep quite peacefully. Hahaha..

Alex and I were singing Isabella, Sejati, Sekuntum Mawar Merah etc. until it is Yaya’s turn to sing after Mdm. Ratna did her stuff by persuading Yaya to join her to sing along.

For the first time ever exclusively in The Black Label, Yaya is singing in the picture. What song? It is Tenda Biru by Ella and her most favourite; because that is the only Malay song that she remember the lyrics; Menghitung Hari by Kris Dayanti.

Afterwards, we headed to Wan’s cousin’s house and Yan’s house which just located near to each other. Then, we decided to head our way to Redha’s house but first Yaya need to refresh herself; so we turned back to Yaya’s.

Eventually, Redha left his phone at Yan’s and together with Alex, they went to get it back where as Camy, Wan and I was waiting for Yaya. Since Redha’s brother need to use the car, hence Yaya will drive her own car along with us in it and we would meet up with Redha at his place.

Mind you, Yaya’s father was quite disturb emotionally because it has been for two days in a row that Yaya arrived to home early in the morning and we decided that will be our top priority for today.

Our dearest Zureen who was having her quality time spent some time with us downstairs and we have a little chat together.

Yes I know girls, you just love the dress that she wore isn’t it? Hahaha…

In the house, there is one thing that caught my eyes and it was Wan Akil’s very own grandfather chair. So I asked Zureen,

“Can I sit on it?”.

“Yeah, just sit on it….”.

“But where’s your dad?” in case he went berserk if sit on it.

“Naah, he is in the room playing my brother’s PS2….”.

You would wonder why I want to sit on it, right? It is because of this;

The great Stifler was sitting on it last year. So, I was thinking to continue the “new tradition".

And yes, it suits me quite right. The chair likes me. To compare and to make it a bit sentimental, I create this;

See, it is a match. The chair likes us.

Just before we end up our journey, we headed to Redha’s and our final destination; thanks to Yaya; is my house of choice; Baby’s house.

The guys, especially Alex and Redha was personified by the mother and the daughters. What can I say? If I can’t resist them, all guys just couldn’t.

Redha was freaking tired because he has nothing to eat since morning and yes, for the THIRD time people, we end up at McD.

Do not get fooled on what she hold. What she ordered is so much more. Do not believe me?

 

See? I don’t lie….LOL.

We manage to end up our journey not later than 12.15 a.m and it is the last journey for that day.

Hence, thank you for all who read this Raya Syawal journey post.

P/S: Throughout the 3 days of journey, I have make a very good deduction and it is non-arguable indeed.

Raya Syawal : Fourth Day

Yesterday, we promised to go out visiting together and among us are Yaya, Alex. Camy and myself.

Redha and Yaya fetch me from my home and we went to MJC; a new township in Kuching; to meet her there since our first plan to went to Redha’s uncle whom having an open-house today.

Afterwards, we decided to head our way to Hana’s. Since Camy does not know the direction the her house, Redha along with Yaya and me in the car be head of direction. Alas, we made through the journey.

Here is our beautiful Hana in her synchronize dress along with her little sister, Lala. She was also were having her open-house on that day. So we help ourselves with the servings.

Did I mentioned about her new fluffy Persian kitten. He is really adorable indeed; yet quite mischievous at certain time. FYI, Redha’s afraid of animal. So much of being a macho man. Haha…

Since the yesterday visiting that we end up at McD plus arriving at home passed 2 a.m, eventually there is still someone who’s still sleepy. Plus, Yaya can’t be blown with air conditioner or else she would doze off like what you see right now.

A special pose from the future-datin-will-be and somehow I do have a really great hunch about it.

But no matter what it is, I surely do not want to miss to take a picture with the adorable Hana and yes, she is adorable; if it is not for you, it is for  me.

Just after that, Yaya suddenly remembered her cousins who are supposedly at the airport right now and her mistake is that she didn’t have any chance to hang-out with her when her cousin were in Kuching. So, us headed to the airport in an enormous speed thanks to Redha.

When we reached at the airport, Yaya’s cousins was just at the Departure gate before Yaya ran to them and spend their quality time around less than a minute. But hey, it better late than never right?

We had our tea meal at Kuching International Airport (KIA) in KFC; thanks to Yaya’s auntie who sponsored the food. Thank you so much.

Since we are already in the area of BDC; another township; we head our way to Camy’s and also she needs to return the car because her sister would be using it.

The best thing about Camy’s house is the internal garden. If you do not have any idea about it, here is a peek for you.

Since this thing is a bit related to my field, professionally I gave credit to the developer for having this type of initiative to make this thing happen and credit to Camy’s for retaining this part of the house.

Although it is already passed Maghrib, we still continuing our visiting to Nisa’s house located at Kampung Gita. Camy, Alex and me stay back at Nisa’s because Yaya and Redha need to fetch Wan Hamidi that has arrived from Betong.

We did have our waiting quite long at Nisa’s though. Camy was freaking impatient since it already late for her to return home.

Finally, almost two hours of waiting, they arrived and having Nisa tagged along, we headed our direction to Yaya’s cousin house.

 

A picture and the only picture of two of them that I possessed, I’ll keep it like really well.

 

I just couldn’t recall of how many of times we already help ourselves with laksa all the time. My stomach crying as I swallowed the food down to my gut.

Finally, we made it clear that this the last house of the day and we sent Camy and Nisa back to their home. Wan eventually who  was having a very long exhausting journey all the way from Betong was craving something to ear even though he has finished one full plate of  laksa. Hence, we decided go to the place that we had gone last night. Yes, it is McD.

I didn’t order because I was freaking bored with McD. I just at them not less than 24 hours ago. So I just chill there with them; munching the fries together. LOL.

Not long so after, we sent Wan and Alex to Wan’s brother house; it already passed 11 p.m, hence we can’t send Alex back to UiTM. So he stayed at Wan’s place; after we make sure Yaya already arrived safely home not to mention waiting for our dear Miss Zureen who was lurking somewhere.

Redha was freaking tired until he drove like a mad man capping up the speed up to 120 km/h when he was sending Alex, Wan and me return back home.

And yet, we promised to go out visiting again for the last time tomorrow.

And yes, we end up at our house passed 2 a.m.

Raya Syawal : First Day

It has been a tiring day for me; to be honest with you. I haven’t sleep all night long because of these certain jobs that I have to finish up in order to have a non-nagging-from-my-mother in the bright morning of Syawal.

On raya eve, usually my home will be in the last-minute preparation such as paint the walls, putting on the curtain, setting up the furniture etc.

Here we can see what I really meant. Luckily we h ave almost a dozen of free labour source; thus my mother just kept ordering around.

While in the kitchen, Rais is roasting the peanuts so it can be use to make peanut gravy which our house usually enjoys it once a year; only in Syawal.

 

Well, as for me, I have to clean up the big mess under the house thank to the past-wiring that has been done to the first floor. You just do not have any idea on how tiring it was.

And this ladies and gentlemen, is the piles of clothes that I need to fold at 3 a.m in raya morning. Plus, having eight siblings, you would say that this job is the last thing that you would do.

 

Let me introduce to you the leader of all the boys in Kampung Boyan. Hafiz, the son of the famous Pak Lah’s mee kolok son. If you heard the father’s special menu name, you would definitely know the boy that pose at the middle.

You can call it as the one of the most important element in Hari Raya celebration which is asking the forgiveness from our parents. And that younger brother of mine needs a lot of apologizing to do. LOL.

And maybe along the way through out the journey to kampung, I kind of slipped my drinking box at the side of the road. Yes, I know; Malaysians. Pffft.

Her name is Aisya; the daughter to my cousin. Yeah, she’s sweet isn’t it. But it has to come in a package, she nag you just like your mother.

Here is the picture of me with my sweet cousin and thanks a lot to my little brother who’s inter-framed at the middle makes the value of this picture decreases.

The third and the youngest set in my family. You can call them the Z-generation since they were born in the year of Y2K.

His name is Muhammad Raqib and please, do not get fooled by from his name because his attitude is the most mischievous among the family.

Please, do not get it wrong, The baby is own by another cousin of mine. So, you can stop wondering if she is the new addition in the family.

The big man of the house himself. The only person that I fear most in the world; my father.

As sweet as her looks, I wouldn’t recommend any guys out there to approach her. This cousin of mine would be the factor of a dear-good-addictive-longing or even you can call it in a Malay; she will caused you to have a strong angau.

Definitely, you do not want both of them to be best friends one day because somehow, I have the feeling that these two will be really good at men.

And last but not least, another cousin of mine make her messed up facial expression before my family and I leave the house.

From the start of the day, I have the feeling that I’ll be put off instantly when I reached my bed at home. And yes, I slept like grizzly bear.

Limitation

Every each and one of us have the limit of what we could do and achieve in one whole day. If you exceed your limitation, you will end up like her.

Being tired, exhausted, bloated and turn out in the end she caught a fever.

So people, do know your limitations.

One night singer

It is hard to say about Yaya’s passion in dancing and singing; I’ve seen both and I told myself to not see it again.

But, last two nights ago; in DBS Suara Emas; I told myself for one more time…..”She can SING!” but some how it only lasted nearly 10 minutes on the stage. LOL.

 

She actually almost forget her lyrics up on the stage but she sang gracefully until maybe it cause her stage fright to wear off.

A pose from two beautiful women of the night made the headline of this blog. I have to admit that Zureen do really looks like her mother rather than Yaya.

Finally, the self-took picture of Be`be’(right). OMG, she does really look cute in it!!!! I adore her…

Here comes the best and worst part.

New semester has begun and by that the attitude of learning also must be change. The first week is the most crucial moments for the students because it is the time for them to pick their group, select their subjects for this semester and also have a look throughout their total packed timetable.

As for me, I can't register my subject yet because in all odds somehow the UiTM's system need to be under maintainance troughout this crucial time. I can't register for my repeat Physics paper because my timetable is somehow clash with the subject for the part two and part three students.

Want to hear more worst news? There will be no food subsidy for the students in about one month time due to the inefficient new system that they introduce and implemented. It is not the conventional type of way which is when you registered yourself to the college and already obtained the room key, you will get the subsidy straight away.

In this new method, you need to register yourself online and apply for it. After your application has been filled up and sent it away, it will put on hold because the "new system" need to gather all the students applications before their process it in one go.

For that ladies and gentlemen, for one whole month we need to use our own money to buy food and let me tell you it ain't cost that small amount. Imagine if a student need to spend around RM10 for breakfast, lunch and dinner; by leaving the intermediates between each meal; for about a month, they have to spend RM3oo. For the students who do not have any scholarship or loans, it is not a practical thing for the UiTM "new system' doing this.

Enough about complaints.

I arrived here since last Sunday and I shopped for new clothes since my brothers has worn mine and I never ever seen those clothes in my closet ever again. So I went to five, I repeat FIVE shopping malls to find a decent looking clothes for me and for the 10 a.m until 9.30 p.m journey, I only obtained two, I repeat TWO clothes for myself!!!!!! WTF. Call me about for being choosy or what but I am what I wear.

And the cobbler that fixing my black shoes couldn't fix it in time. Thus my dad told me to buy a new a new one the nearest shoe store. I looked around and I only see Bata. Yes. BATA. And due to time constraint, I have to pick any paor of shoe that are within my reach. As the result, I got the old fashion looking. Sigh.

Anyway, I must look it at the bright sight and being able to be with 24/7 of internet is really something but the connection is really terribly slow!!!!!

Pejabat Kolej & I

Ladies and gentleman, please be ready for my usage of language after following this conversation below.

I really do not want to speak like this but due to the feelings that I must express, it indeed really help me to express it in the exact way that I want.

Bare in mind that I'm not the type of person who want to use this way writing but I have to; for the first time Black has to obey the todays blogging style among Malaysian teens.

***********************************************************************************
I just arrived at home feeling tired plus aching all over and I'm just having a short nap until my phone rang.

Pejabat Kolej: Hello, ini Muhammad Rahman ke?

Me: Ya, saya.

Pejabat Kolej: Ini dari pejabat kolej. Boleh saya tahu awak berada di mana sekarang ni?

Me: Saya sekarang berada di rumah. Ada emergency case.

Pejabat Kolej: Emergency case? Boleh saya tahu apa itu?

Me: Saya terpaksa jaga adik saya cause semua orang tidak ada kat rumah (half-true).

Pejabat Kolej: Awak tahu hari ini awak buat apa kan?

Me: Saya tahu. Saya perlu buat clearence hari ni.

Pejabat Kolej: Dah tu kalau awak dah tahu kenapa awak tak buat?

Me: Saya minta maaf sangat-sangat. Saya bukan sengaja.

Pejabat Kolej: Jadi, awak nak buat macam mana ni?

Me: Kalau saya bayar denda saja boleh?

Pejabat Kolej: Kalau macam tu, saya tanda awak tak clearence lah macam tu.

Me: Errmmm okay. Jadi denda tu RM10 kan?

Pejabat Kolej: Kita lihatlah macam mana nanti okay.

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I mean wtf bunyi statement akhir dialog itu macam nak ugut orang. Macam la kita bunuh orang or threatening people.

Aku bukannya sengaja tak nak clearence cuma masa sememangnya tak mengizinkan aku berbuat begitu hatta aku dah buat temu janji dengan pihak pejabat kolej macam sial tu!

Korang pun tahu yang aku bukannya seseorang yang suka memungkiri janji. Tapi disebabkan praktikal aku yang membuatkan aku letih macam sial (tapi ada masa untuk blogging kat Coffeebean) dan langsung tidak ada orang untuk menjaga adik aku kat rumah, semua tu berada di atas bahu aku.

Remember, FAMILY FIRST!

Dengar tak tu you fucking pejabat kolej!

Ha, kan dah kena sumpah dengan aku.

Padan muka.

P/S: Aku akan try to settle things up by this Friday kalau dapat.