Wednesday, July 21, 2010

It’s about insecurity and trust

Did you ever face this problem where your girl accuse you of cheating on her even though you’re not?

Even you’re not but why does she accuse you do?

There must be a solid reason on why she acting like that.

It’s mainly because of this thing called “INSECURITY”.

The reason that cause this problem is perhaps because she have been cheated by her ex in the previous relationship and even worst, every single man that she dated cheated on her in every occasion.

Therefore, it is you who will receive the full-blast even if the relationship just started less then a week. Nether less she is beautiful, stunning or even the most pretty girl in the campus ground, they still have the feeling of insecurity inside them. So there is no way of us trying to avoid those things.

Main reason is where there is this type of relationship where both of you just texting and rarely call each other, you put your relationship status as “In a relationship” but on her side is “Single” even though you send her a relationship request in Facebook, you never have an actual date and both of you never walk side by side in the campus ground because she doesn’t want her friends to know about both of you for the time being.

Hence, she doesn’t have any sort of solid proof that you are hers to assure her that you are hers, that you are loyal to the relationship and towards her too. Even if you ask her on what type of she wants for you and you will try your best to do it so that she could believe you, she couldn’t due to the cause that even she doesn’t know how to define a solid proof herself.

Another problem is TRUST. She couldn’t trust you that much because partly both of you just in the relationship. Maybe it is easy for guys since trust solidity is being build up day by day along with the relationship itself but it is not that easy for some girls since she does had a rough and hard time in the previous relationships.

In a nutshell, because of other guys whom she had commit play around with her feelings and her trust, it is you who have to receive the burden. It is you who have to reassemble the pieces; from the previous guy’s dirty job; within her but it is hard because some tiny fraction of the piece is under something which is hard to reach or out of your grasp.

Now, with INSECURITY and TRUST are the main issue, is there any solution to this matters?

No, there is no solution but there is ways to ease this issues.

First, INSECURITY. Stop telling her that “I wouldn’t do it”, “You’re the only one for me”, “Do believe in me” and such repeatedly. Why? It is annoying and do bear in mind how many times she had listen to this cliché’ answers from the previous guys she had dated, that she had commit with in the past? Psychologically, in her mind the more you’re saying those words, the more tendency her words is right because every guys that she dated in the past says will surely cheated on her.

Just tell her not more that THREE times or else she would be tired of you using the same answer or excuse. Do tell her that you would give her some space; meaning let her to have a calm period; until she is ready to text you back. Let her know that you are always be there for her; even she doesn’t have anything to share or to talk about; just ready to be there for her. In the other hand, it would assure her eventually that you are hers but it does takes time.

Second, TRUST. For a girl, you don’t get her trust easily. It’s their nature. The best thing is just be there with her and eventually she will open it up to you. Remember, TRUST is earn not given. Tell her that during the build-up of the relationship, it is also a process for you to learn on how to TRUST each other. Even she doesn’t understand on how that would be imply but gradually according to time she will get it subconsciously. If she keep on having TRUST problem over a period of time, just hang-on to that. Imagine that she had a 3 years long relationship with a man who in the end cheated on her, on how you want to make it clear and firm to her that she can trust you although you and her just started 3 months ago? It does takes time but eventually, the issue will wear off.

Try these recommendations to ease things up and God willing, if you do love her, it will work.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Mini and music

Semester has already being started about two weeks ago and yet some students; including me; are still in the hang-over holiday mood.

Just last week Mohamad and I went for the Rainforest World Music Festival 2010 which as always being held at Sarawak Cultural Village.


I will not tell you the whole scene of the event until I get my hands on the pictures which is still with Mohamad. Overall, it was awesome except for the fact that I can’t dance so much. There’s a reason for it.


As soon we entered in, the music of the official FIFA World Cup 2010 being played with having the percussion to raise up the beat.


In the crowd, I was at the most front and the most centred. Hence, you know that I got the best place to take pictures. Even you would say that is quite good but the reality is I can’t dance so much because at my both sides, there were photographer taking pictures with their DSLR and long mounted lens. 

Plus, what if I dance and I accidentally knock down the thousands-of-ringgit worth of lens? Scary. I even wouldn’t want to think about that.

Other story, finally my mum already got her hand on that netbook that she wanted for months. It’s a HP Mini netbook. Even though she already have it, yet she don’t bring it to school since she wants to improve upon her typing.

See how small it is compared to my 12.1” laptop? If she already get the hang of it, she will bring it to school since that’s her reason of wanting it at the very first place.

The last thing that she want is that all my brother’s would play with it since it is the only non-password netbook in the house.

Luckily I got a 3 years warranty for that darn thing. *laugh*