Sunday, December 30, 2012

Page 365 of 366

Isolation Of A Confounded Heart

Lying Down

Nobody's perfect, we screw up, we make mistakes, have heartbreaks, go through hard times but you need to know that this is life. Nothing comes easy, no relationship last years without terrible fights, there is no better partner who could understand you better without making a terrible mistake to you in the first place and there is no happiness without sacrifices.

It is easy to give up. It is easy to walk away. It is easy to face yourself to the corner.It is easy to tear someone’s heart. It is easy to disappear without any explanation. Everything seems easy to be done, dodging the problem, avoiding the reason and running away from the root cause.

There will be a period where you will be at your lowest point and you will push away all of those people who are meant a lot to you; your lover, best friends and others. You will be in your own world questioning everything that happen and resolve around you. Depression makes you isolated. It's very hard to think of other people when you're wrapped in a prickly blanket of sadness and all you can think about is your own pain.

The one whom will be affected the most is indeed your partner. When he tries to call, you refuse to answer. When he text, you refuse to reply. When he want to be closer, you push him away. He is doing all his best within all his might; ignoring his time, studies, friends even taking care of himself; as he is very worry about you. He keep on telling himself that perhaps it is all is his fault; a fault that you never mention, say or explain; letting him alone being eaten by his own mind. He never pointed out to you and say it is your fault; never; because to him, his wrong doing more terrible. Thus, he feels that he is not qualify enough to blame anyone, especially to the person he loves.

The only thing that he wishes is listening to your voice, grasp your hand, kiss it and pull you into his arms telling you everything is going to be fine, keeping on apologizing for a mistake that he not known of. He loves you very much and he could not more endure so much pain of being pushed away by the girl that he loves. Ignoring it all, he is closer than you think but keeping his distance afraid of you might running away to a place that he is not aware.

As you are keeping on searching and knowing about yourself, he is patiently waiting at the other end, keeping on fighting all the possibilities that he might loose you and keeping on holding to himself that both will be finally reunited together, forever.

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