When your best friend fall for you

Today, it is a norm that a girl have a best friend who is a boy and vice versa. This is because the similarities in them doesn’t distinguish either you are a boy or even if you are a girl.

The term of a friend derived when you have a lot of things in common and you are comfortable with that particular person; leading to a fact that you can discuss and talk almost about everything.

For a girl, when you have a guy as your best friend, it is really coming in handy especially when you asking for their help to move heavy stuff from another place to another or even seeking an advice from guys point of view.

You have so much fun with him, sharing almost everything and doing activities together everyday until this one particular sentence comes out from his mouth, “I like you; a lot. I like you more than a friend” or even any words that utter out from his mouth which have the same meaning as earlier on.

Then, you will have this dilemma of;

1. Accepting him as for you too share the same feeling.

2. Try to say “No” due to you do not have any feeling towards him

For No. 1, there is no problem in that because there will be no one that will be hurt by your action; taking into account it is only involving both of you.

But as for No. 2, you will be in a deep shit of dilemma because you will have more than “losing a friend”; you will loose another person in your life.

Due to that, on how you want to tackle the problem in the very first place? That is why ladies, you need to read this post from till the end.

There are some few steps involved.

First, you must know the reason on why he have the feeling on you at the first place.

There are TWO reasons on why he have the “unacceptable-feeling-to-you”. Mainly, he doesn’t have any option or even you spend too much time with him or it could be combination of both.

I have a friend, Sandra. She have a guy friend who fall for her and he confessed his feelings for her hoping for Sandra gives the answer but Sandra told her that she need him as her friend; not the other way but that guy keep on holding to imaginary hope hoping one day she would accept him. Since they have been friends long time before they hook up, nether less to say that he already knew her family including her parents.

Either it is sending her to a place in the town or do the lawn, her boyfriend willingly to do it for her even she kept on refusing his help because it looks like she is using him and even though she already told him on false hope that he put on, he kept on saying that “the day would come”.

The guy have all of these values to be a girl’s boyfriend; good look, smart, multi-talent etc. but it just doesn’t feel right for Sandra.

Alas, she met Mike. He have all the values same as friend but the feelings for Mike is more than a friend and that is attraction. Only Mike have the affection trigger to her and that is the reason on why she dated Mike.

As for her guy friend, although he already his best to capture Sandra’s attention but it is already too late. One problem with Sandra is that she didn’t have the heart to tell him about Mike out of empathy. In the end of the day, she dated Mike but having a guy friend ;who is already almost loose the “friend” status in front of her eyes as she now doesn’t know who is he now; who are trying hard to impress her without knowing his hope already being shattered all over the place.

So, what is the problem? The problem is within Sandra’s guy friend who only see her as the only girl in his eyes without even bother to look to other girl saying try to be loyal. The more he tend to look Sandra as his option and only option, eventually his chances to seek different as options will be decrease.

Due to the fact that Sandra doesn’t have the feeling for him, thus it is okay for him to check out other girl given him made out the effort to do so. But sometimes people could be stubborn and perhaps he would try to do not having or pushing other girl away from his eyes and heart because he want to remain Sandra as the only one in his heart so that he would not “cheat” his feeling towards her.

What Sandra can do is helping him out from his world of his to the reality. On how he would do this is easy. Ask him out and at the same time make sure you have other female friends to be with you. It is much more helpful if the friends are talkative and friendly so that it could create a fraction of spark in his friend. By using subtle words, tell him that the friend of yours is very interesting person and try to ask him to accompany her if she wants to buy something from the near shop or to the ladies room that cause her being separated from the group. Use the excuse of “be a gentleman” to him to push him to accompany friend of yours. Since he have a feeling towards you, he will do as you say even he is quite hesitate.

From there he or she might open-up into a conversation and by the time both of them return, he have the tendency to talk to almost of the people in that one particular group.

How this could help? By doing so, you help him to open up his mind to options and definitely pushing you away from the “only option” status. Even it does looks small, but in the long run it will erode the feeling towards you.

Another method you could use is particularly a little bit cruel but it does works.

When you are with him; much more encourage if there is other friends around,; try to mention something about your dream guy quality. A very good example is, “I love guys with dimple. It makes me like *rolling eyes*”. Note that you use the term of “love” rather than using “like" for a fact that guys doesn’t feel enough threaten if the girl use the word “like”. According to time, if you continue to mentioned about that thing; maybe twice a day; he couldn’t bare with it and he will degrade himself from your dream-quality-guy.

As a bonus, if there’s any friend whom ask you a question about if you have feeling for that guy friend of yours, you make a big “X” using your hands. It is much more better if he himself is there because it is a very good subtle way to convey your actual rebel towards him.

As for the second reason, you spend too much time with him. Psychologically, when a guy spend more time with you more than other girls even if you are just one of his best; worst if you are his best friend; he would have an emotional attach towards you.

What is emotional attach?

An emotional attachment is simply where you build a bond with somebody or a friendship with somebody and as time passes you grow closer to that person emotionally (that person does not need to be growing closer to you in return; it just depends). When this closeness gets to a stage where you trust this person more than other people and you want to spend more time with this person, this implies that you are becoming emotionally attached. In my opinion, emotional attachment is more of an illustration as to how good a relationship with somebody is. Emotional attachment may be how much you care about someone, trust someone, etc, but most of us already know that. I think of the level of emotional attachment you have towards someone as being an indicator of the success of your relationship with that person (whether he/ she is a friend, partner, parent, work-mate, etc).

Hence, you need to have a less time with him; in other words try to create distance between both of you. By doing so, it could reduce the emotional attach of his towards you but it does takes time and it works. Maybe to do not make it quite obvious, try to just spend some time with him less than before and perhaps finally both of you just having lunch to spend your time but it is much more better if you could gather along some of your friends so that you would go for your lunch in a crowd; not to mention to do not make the action obvious.

So here it is ladies. All the steps that you need to know on how to prevent or kick away the feeling of your guy best friend romance feelings towards you.

Try it! You’ll love it.