Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Page 31 of 366

Drop of TearsCrying

“I don’t think it will work between us” as she uttered those words to me.

“We’re different in a way that I myself couldn’t possibly understand it. You’re a good guy and perhaps the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. The problem is not you but it’s me. You’re far from me and everyday I’m struggling with curious feeling about you’re cheating behind my back…” as my tears started to welling. My hand was shaking in devastation by every words that came out between her lips; those lips that I used to kiss.

“I think it is not fair for you for having a girlfriend which keep on thinking bad things about you and it is unfair for my emotion to face it every single day in the silence of night” and she stopped; due her voice started to choke.

“I really love you and I do but at the same time I felt this feeling starting to fade because you are not here to assure, comfort me that you’ll stay and be on my side. Please, do forgive me upon what I’m doing right now is totally wrong and perhaps beyond cruel but I need to say this……” just by listening to those words, I burst into tears and I tried hard to control my voice so that she wouldn’t notice but from the end of the line, she burst out.

“Good bye…” were the last words he said to me before she hung up the phone.

Deep in my mind, I asked myself, “Why now”? and for the next of the remaining days between the exam period and the holiday, I’ve became “not me”.

Emotion and psychological burden upon what has happened has put me in nervous and emotional breakdown. I could not concentrate upon my studies because my mind would linger around my memories about her.

I kept on crying day by day every time I thought about her or seeing all those stuff that she gave me; a bottle of her perfume and one of her clothes which still have her scent. Just by looking at those, I’ll be stuck in the remaining memories and could not get out until I kill each one of memory at a time.

Perhaps we’re not meant to be together but it doesn’t stop the fact that we love each other and keep on making me feel the hope of being together again.

Being together……again.

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